The movie critic

Well, I've tried to protect my friends/readers from my more brooding, inner thought life. Mostly it has worked because, I've just been too tired and busy to think deeply. Sad, I know. I can hear the violins playing...
However, I am starting to come out of it (this fog I've been in) and I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head. Usually I do try to journal or write them down and this is where all of my journaling is ending up lately so, I apologize, but you get to hear my ramblings. (:
My husbands favorite new saying is "An unexamined life is a life not worth living." - Socrates.
I wholeheartedly agree. And, most of my life have thought that I am a person that is constantly examining my life. Another person worth quoting put it this way..." For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in the mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does." James 1:23-25
See James takes it a step further and tells us HOW to examine our life. To look intently at the perfect law and abide by it. So, lately, as I look more often into the "perfect law", I find that I have not been examining myself at all. No, I have been more like a movie critic. Watching and seeing things that are wrong... but not with me. You see, let me tell you how this happens. Our life is full of seasons. At the end of each tough season, we'd like to think we've arrived, passed the test and can sit back and munch on popcorn and take the role of movie critic. (humor me when I say "we" because it is comforting to think I'm not alone.)
Certainly, this past few years have been tough. 2 years of not getting pregnant, finally getting pregnant and then losing my precious little boy, losing 2 uncles right after that... (sigh)... yes, officially tough. Not the toughest road anyone has traveled... but definitely tough. So, I get through, get pregnant again, this time we actually bring our baby boy home. He's precious. So, I take inventory and say to myself, "Self, you've done well... you have made it through and did not choose anger or bitterness. You still trust God. Good job." Then, I make myself a bag of popcorn and proceed to take on the role...
Oh my, dear friends, just when you've passed a very real HARD test, lookout, because around the corner is a whole other monster. His name is PRIDE. Don't worry, he won't eat you. Not at first anyway. He likes to sit and chat and eat popcorn too. But, before you know it, he has begun to nibble away at the you that you think you are. Believe me, he would like to swallow me whole! So, I guess this is kind of like a confession. I see the monster sitting beside me, and I would like to get up off of the couch now and get on with my life. Sans popcorn. (: