Of Bon-Bons and Bubble Baths...

Ha! Not even close!

A pre-teenager, a 9 year old that has hit the dialectic stage phenomenally early, and a 17 month old diabetic toddler that has had wonderful blood sugars lately, but apparently just needs a little character training already... and has an incredibly powerful right arm.

Well, you can just imagine. The constant roar in my ears from bickering, baby screaming, or just one person talking over the other person... Let's just say that the peace of the evening is beyond priceless to me.

I have to say that I wouldn't trade one single second of any of it. I can see their little personalities blooming. Their convictions growing. (Even if it makes them clash with one another) They are developing a strong sense of right and wrong and working out in their heads where they will compromise (IF they will compromise). So much to be gleaned from all of this interaction as a family. Oh, how I want to snap my fingers and be on a peaceful beach somewhere... but what eternal reward would that bring???? : ) Not that occasional immediate rewards are terrible...
oh no, that isn't what I'm saying....

But, I have to be reminded why I keep going. Why do I endeavor to dot every I and cross every t in their hearts? Because let's face it, motherhood doesn't hand out awards. No trophies, no plaques, no wall of remembrance to the amazing valiant mothers out there. But, really, isn't that what makes it all the more noble? Do we love and snuggle and guide and cherish and teach and discipline all with no one watching? Yes. We do. Because, our creator is watching and He will have no less of us.

That my friends, is what we must remember. Yes, I drank too much caffeine to survive the day, and yes, I probably ate too many things just to try to make myself feel better. My thighs are getting slightly larger by the moment. No, I didn't cope perfectly today. SIGH. But, each day brings me a new opportunity to try again. The question is not am I surviving, but in the middle of it all, do I still manage to be salt and light to the little ones I'm raising and ALSO, to those I encounter? Really, I don't know. LOL. I hope so.
But, this I know, I WILL try again tomorrow.

FoTos

No one can get a laugh quite like Sissy and Bubby...

We have 4 teeth now. Judging by the amount of drool, we must be working on a few more.

He's definitely getting expressive. We have no doubt what he wants, and doesn't want. LOL

I clean up this exact mess approximately 10 times a day. : )

Where in the World Have We Been?

Well, I guess I have dropped the ball on blogging. So sorry. Life has been very busy and this has not taken priority. That is good I guess. I don't even know if anyone still reads this silly thing. ( :
Let's see, where do I begin? A big reason that I haven't blogged in a while is because in January, my grandfather passed away. It was a huge blow to me and I had nothing emotionally to give. Not even a blog post. I was already a very tired girl this year and I dearly loved my grandfather. You know, he was just the kind of grandfather that loved me unconditionally. I knew that if I walked in the room, it made him happy. No, it wasn't rational. No, he didn't really see my flaws... he looked right past them. But, I submit that everyone needs someone like that in their life. I needed him. I doubt he knew that, but I did. He was not a very big man (as you can see from the picture below), but he had a BOOMING voice and when he spoke, you listened. I miss him like crazy. I miss hearing him call me and tell me that I was late to whatever he was expecting me for. Because, I always was, and he always called. ( : He had many more virtues than I could possibly list here. Here is a link to the Eulogy that my brother wrote. It is a good read and certainly helps you know the man.
"Good Grandaddy" as we called him, had gotten slightly tired after Christmas. This was really nothing new. But, he began falling more often. He couldn't make it across a room without sitting down or needing help. After a couple of falls and a couple of trips to the ER, he was finally admitted to the hospital. The next thing we knew he was diagnosed with pneumonia. That was definitely going to be an uphill battle, but I gave him a good percentage chance of kicking it's tail because he was such a fighter. I visited as much as I could for a couple of days. One day, I took the kids to school and rushed right over to check on him. I helped him eat his cereal because he needed it. He was still feisty enough to correct the way I was holding the spoon. (; But, that day around noon, not long after I left, His heart just stopped. My father was there and of course, panicked and told the nurse to help him. They got his heart going again, but Grandad never woke up. He spent his last few days in CCU on a respirator, waiting for his daughters to arrive. We said our goodbyes and cried like babies, then we let him go. I'm so so sad. I miss him so much. But, he is definitely better off now. He would tell me to pull it together. He would tell me about all the things that I have to do here. So, I will do that... I'll pull it together and keep going. This is a picture of him and his girlfriend Gwen with my parents and my 2 older kids at Halloween. They loved it when we came to trick or treat.

When we lost Grandad, we had relatives here for almost a month so that we could wrap up the details of his life. It was a necessary but difficult thing. So, his passing took about a month out of our lives, then we had to keep going. Since then, Rachel and Parker have been busy. These are pictures of them working on their science fair projects. Rachel built a solar cell fan. Parker did a project about sound. They both worked very hard and I'm very proud of them. They did almost every last detail themselves. With a little "prodding" from Mom.





The next picture is a picture of Forest with his cousin Norah. She is a bit older than him but they play very well together. Since this picture, Forest has gotten very sick. He has been sick for almost a week now. He had a very high fever for a few days, he had a croupy cough, and of course, the snottiest nose you've ever seen. As of right now, he had a couple of days without fever, but now it is in the 99's, his croupy cough is much better but still lingers and his poor nose, oh, his poor nose. The kicker is that all of this has made his blood sugars skyrocket. I have been fighting 400's and 300's. I have given him TONS of insulin. I have withheld food, I have withheld bottles, I have force fed water OVER and OVER. (Of course, he DOES eat). Just not when he is THAT high. It is a sleep depriving, emotionally exhausting thing to care for a 15 month old diabetic that is sick. When his blood sugars are that high, he is not rational. He is just MAD. Mad at the world. He throws fits that cannot be consoled. I have spent alot of time in prayer and breathing deeply. I am ready for the day that he feels better. Then, I plan to run from all sick people. Lord, please help us to never get sick again.

Well, that's the update for now. Not very uplifting is it? But, still, God is Good and I am very thankful. Yes, no doubt, I am very thankful...

Too Long...

It has been far too long since I have posted. A lifetime has transpired in one short month. Literally. When I have the energy, I will write about it. In the mean time, I was just putting the sweet little baby boy down for a nap.

Snuggling him in my arms, kissing that cute little place between the nose and forehead, and smiling so happily at him. Then, I started thinking.

I never smiled this easily and readily at Rachel and Parker when they were babies. How sad. I was always so stressed. Stressed to get me time. Stressed to produce perfect children, Stressed just to be stressed. The ironic thing is, I have infinitely more weighty concerns NOW in my life, than I did then. Goodness, If only I had known. The hard things in life just strip all that pretense away and guess what is left? Just simple, happy, can't control the world or life, but trusting in God..me.

I like it.